Because our generation is so mentally screwed up and scared of commitment, I now doubt myself more than ever.
Because our generation is so against having relationships and being genuinely kind and loving towards each other I know fear that I am not good enough for someone.
Because our generation thinks it is okay, to have sex with each other but not be in relationship or have any special type of connection I accepted being with someone that only desired me physically and not mentally. I accepted less conversations and more touch. A touch that wasn’t good enough for me, a touch that I knew I shouldn’t accept, and I still accepted it anyway.
Nothing hurts a person more than not being good enough.
I asked for more.
I asked for more.
I ASKED FOR MORE.
I got no answer, but in all reality no answer is an answer right?? No reply. Nothing.
You begin to question everything about yourself at that point. You wonder why not me? You ask yourself well he only wanted IT, but was the rest not good enough?
So I’m going to answer all my own questions here. I am good enough. I am worth more than the bare minimum attention I was receiving. I deserve the best. I am queen of my own kind, no I do not look like the rest of the girls my age, with the caked on faces of layers and layers of make up. NO, I do not have long full (fake) lashes. But what I do have is this ammature ability to write. And I have this life experience that allows me to give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Even times when it doesn’t deserved to be given. I have a heart of gold, that allows me to smile. I have the ability to see the good in every situation when everything else in the world is turning grey. I see the light. I make situations awkward. Awkward in a sense that it’s okay to be weird and not normal, choke on my words in front of a small group of 14 people that I see every week awkward. Through the stutters, red cheeks, and uneasy feeling in my stomach I shine. I shine through my words and my actions. I shine in a way that doesn’t compare. To layers of makeup and skinny waists.
I’ve never said this until now, but my smile is my favorite thing about me.
We are cut from our very own type of cloth. So if you’re reading this and have never felt good enough, please know this:
Those boys who don’t see you shine, do not deserve you.
Not your attention, and not your time.
You bring so much more to the table than you realize.
Don’t accept what everyone else is doing.
Do not tell yourself that it is okay, just because you’re getting attention.
Because I did.
IT IS NOT WORTH IT.
You beautiful soul, who truly deserves your attention won’t ever make you feel less than.
Shine and smile. Why you might ask?
BECAUSE OUR GENERATION.
Gabrielle at Sunet 